Knowledge is power. Information is liberating. Education is the premise of progress, in everything
25
years old
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Heterosexual
Single
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Janitor
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Kendall
is Offline
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9 posts
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Factionless
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Post by Christopher R. Rosangel on Aug 14, 2014 12:02:50 GMT -5
If someone was to ask me what was the hardest part of giving up everything and going by a fake name and pretending I was dead wouldn't be what people thought it would be. The most common and logical answer would be missing my family. Yet, as much as I miss them I would rather have them think I am dead. It's easier then them knowing I was kicked out of Erudite for something I was framed for. My death is as easy as them mourning and then moving on with me out of their minds until the anniversary of my death. People might think I would miss the attention and all the fame I got for basically being next in line to be in charge of the Erudites. But I didn't even miss that. I missed the fact that I could no longer help people. People now had to help me feel better and get food while I look down and remember when they used to come to me for their health. We switched places and being helplessly helpless was the worst part of it all.
But, who am I kidding, no one would ask me that. People just ignore me now. On the streets, the mothers grab their children closer and run away in the opposite direction. At the beginning I used to get angry with them but now I just shrink back in the darkness to where I came from. They had right to be scared. The factionless were people who had no place, who didn't fit in. We were told to be mean and dirty. But have they ever thought it was them and their corrupt society that did this to us? I don't blame myself... I blame them. I blame them for taking away my family from me. It wasn't be it was them. They don't care about anyone but themselves. They will knock down whoever they need to to get where they want.
I can't even see them. No contact or they would die. Many years have gone by and there isn't a day I wonder how my little sister has changed. Just because I can't see them doesn't mean I don't ask around. I heard from various people that she switched to Dauntless and was third in her class. I was proud of her even if she left Erudite. Cali deserved to be recognized as the amazing girl she is. Cass was doing just fine and there wasn't a doubt that she wouldn't be. Even though I am gone, she's still going to work until she is in what people called 'my rightful' place. But I didn't like to think like that. Every now and then when I get lonely I think of how easy it would be to just see Cali. But I can't be selfish and risk their lives just to see me. I couldn't see them and I dreaded and was anxious for the day I would lay eyes on them myself.
I am a guilty man. Or so they made me believe I was. And every day I lived on this earth the more I wanted to die but the more I wanted revenge that would be so sweet but that I would never get. But I held on to hope that one day it would all work out. And today I was loosing hope. As I woke early in the morning to mop the floors of the hub I kept my head down as people past and gave me weird looks. Some walked where I had already walked just to spite me. But they got nothing out of me and left me to myself. An hour pasted and I wheeled the mop back into the closet and I spun around to see a familiar face. Frantically I looked around but the only escape was to run. Our eyes lock and a rush of guilt flows though my veins. And before I knew what I was doing I ran. Pushing threw people and turned the corning and ran to the first abandoned building I knew of. She couldn't know I was alive.
She would die.
I can't let that happen.
Cowering behind old crates I call out to the emptiness. "You never saw me." I say, breathing heavy and trying to catch my breath. "I am dead, pretend you never saw me." But I knew she wasn't going to move until she got answered on why I had pretending for so long. Not moving my eyes from the floor I breathed heavily finally catching my breath but my heart was still beating out of my chest. "Please." It was all I could say. All I could do was beg she would leave me be and forget she ever saw me and one day she would believe it.
And if you're still breathing you're the lucky ones. cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs. |
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